Learning About Feedback- Review

 Overcoming Defensive Thinking

https://tinybuddha.com/blog/overcoming-defensive-thinking-try-avoid-criticism/?utm_content=bufferfa03a&utm_medium=social&utm_source=plus.google.com&utm_campaign=buffer

I read "Overcoming Defensive Thinking" by Lars Nielson. This article centers around the defensive thinking brought on by the "inner critic" in us, and how to work with negative thinking instead of trying to avoid or work over it. We all have a critic in our head who is harder on us than any outside viewer may be, but there are some out there who might make us feel low for what we produce, think, feel, or do. It is important to remember that the voice only hinders you when you let it control how you express. Though we might want to just avoid negative feedback or cling onto validation in its many forms, it is important to remember that we can only grow from what we do wrong. Once we accept negative criticism and the useful parts, we can begin to use it in our favor. 

It's not just important to accept negative criticisms and work with them as tools, but it is also so valuable to learn how to be generous to yourself. Our inner critic, or as RuPaul Charles calls it, our "Saboteur"- is the most negative voice we will encounter, and more often than not it feeds us non-useful thoughts. We owe it to ourselves to harbor nurturing side of ourselves inside as well, so we don't have to feel so overly conscious about every action we take.

Be a Mirror

https://www.literacyworldwide.org/blog/literacy-now/2015/12/08/be-a-mirror-give-readers-feedback-that-fosters-a-growth-mindset

This article focuses on how to best give feedback with growth mindsets in mind. Using the instance of teaching new readers, Gravity Goldberg lists some qualities that help students utilize the criticism they are given to learn. One of the useful tools I found were to make it impersonal first; Goldberg describes how criticism should be like holding up a mirror to the students work, and how we should take ourselves out of the criticism by removing first person evaluations. Instead of saying things like "I think", use second person pronouns to ensure the recipient is always thinking about bettering their product not pleasing someone else. Another good quality I found was to make sure your feedback can transfer. What we say needs to be specific enough in content that it is full understandable, but general enough that there is a rule they can apply to different works. It is more important that you express not in what is missing, but how a work can be excelled. Constructive feedback is supposed to be for helping the recipient better their work on their terms, and it is easy to give criticism that inadvertently makes someone feel down on themselves- so always ensure that you're keeping a growth mindset in mind.

In Practice

Criticism should lead toward improvement first. I have tended to be pretty sensitive when it comes to criticism before, because I used to seek more validation from the performance of my work than the enjoyment of it. There are even some hobbies I stopped doing altogether because I realized I was taking more pleasure from the praise than the act. I have since found actual pleasure from the work I create now, and I thank the critics I got from instructors before. 

In order to handle criticism in the first place, I had to accept that there was no mastering a craft. I was a student first, and there would always be something to learn. All skills are acquired, and assigning the fabric of my identity to the response to my efforts was only going to make me feel worse when I hit a roadblock. Once I learned to accept critic, I found that the most helpful forms of it came at a personal level. I never liked the idea of rejection publicly, so I was most helped by criticism when it was a closed circuit between myself and the person responding to my work. When I began learning to play guitar, I knew my instructor, and I liked that the lessons were usually isolated. I would often perform worse when it came to tests, and I would not play as well when I was being watched, so I felt more comfortable when we were doing it together. Instead of being an instructor, or assigning merit to my performance, we played like friends who enjoyed making music. 

What I have come to respond best to is the emphasis on what can be added versus what is absent. In English classes, as I have been learning to write better- I most improved when the criticisms of my work came in the form of generalized tips rather than something specific I had not done. Instead of saying that there was no connecting points between paragraphs, or that there were grammatical mistakes that made harder to read, my teacher would return my drafts with ideas on how to connect the points or with alternative sentences that still got the thought across. This shift in the focus of the feedback was better because it had more substance and did not feel like being told my work was not "good". 

In all the intention of the criticism can completely change the reaction from it. When criticism comes from the scaling of someone's performance it becomes more pointed to the one receiving it. So when giving criticism I would suggest being personal with the receiver so they want to trust you, and offering your own advice on what can be added or subtracted. Once criticism is made, your hand is played in someone's work, so it is best to give it as if they are changes you would like to see in your own work.